The problem with pregnancy

Having a family is the most wonderful thing in the world. Being a mother to a beautiful two year old girl has been my greatest joy. When I talk to my partner about extending our family she looks at me with a smile on her face and says of course we can. Sounds perfect, sounds simple, sounds like we should get going. Ah but its not. Nothing brings me more joy and heartbreak all at once then thinking about getting pregnant. For a gay couple having children is well impossible. One of us is obviously missing certain key parts to make a baby. (Im not going to explain any more on that. If you dont know how babies are made my blog might be a bit much for you.) Our first daughter was created the old fashioned way and we refuse to go down that road again. So the questions begin. How are we going to do it? How will we get the much needed man juice? Will it be from a friend or a sperm bank. Who will be the carrier? The list of questions goes on and on. Literally thousands of dollars could potentially spent trying to get pregnant and each time is no guarantee. Thats why each time I think of extending our family I almost cry.

I was watching The Real L Word and a couple on the show went through a year of hell to get pregnant and then when they did they lost the baby at six months into the pregnancy. Losing a child and miscarrying a baby is horrible for anyone but I grieved for them a little more than a straight couple knowing how hard it was for them to even get pregnant. (Not saying all straight people have an easy time getting pregnant either) Do I want to go through all that work, money, and stress just to be left empty handed? How does somebody even come back from that?

As a high risk pregnancy I was a complete wreck with Penny not knowing that she would be fine. The outcome of the nine month of misery was well worth it. I have never known perfection until I saw her face for the first time. Jessie and I have so much love for her that we want to share that with another child. A struggle it will be but I keep telling myself the result will be more than worth it. So now Im off to try and answer the hundreds of questions of how and Ill get back to you when I have some answered.