Ask and you shall receive. Sperm that is

So less then four hours ago I wrote a blog about my concerns of getting pregnant. As a gay family this is something that we have to think about more than an average straight family. My blog stated my main concerns about who what how where and when with my pregnancy. (Just read the damn thing its only three paragraphs long) Within minutes of posting it I had a huge response from many of my friends wishing me luck on my journey and to my surprise I had three of my friends even offer their husbands goods to do the job for me. My heart has exploded with joy just thinking that there are people who love me and my family enough to offer such a gift. One friend in particular shared her own pregnancy journey and the struggles her and her family has went through. Pregnancy is a heartbreaking thing for a lot of couples gay or straight. When I couldnt think my friends were any better I got a private message from one friend that Jessie and I adore and call her our secret best friend. Why a secret you might ask? Well its because we have never met and she lives thousands of miles away. If it wasnt for a plane ride Jessie had been taking from New York back to Wisconsin we wouldnt even know she existed. In her message she shared her own story. She also was a high risk pregnancy and has had many issues when trying to make a family of her own. One would think that having such a hard time she would want to keep every drop of that "good stuff" for herself. It was completely the opposite. She took it upon herself to talk to her husband and said that they both supported us and wanted to help in any way possible. She had said it was because of their hard times that they wanted to help with our issue of getting pregnant as well. After the shock wore off a bit and she had told me a hundred times that she and her husband were dead serious reality set in. Now mind you Jessie and I are in no hurry to get pregnant. We are in the beginning steps of growing our family. For someone be on our side and offering to help in our matter even though we technically have never met is mind blowing. It gives me hope that our dream of growing our family could become an actual reality. Even if plans (none really made yet fyi) change and we go different path for our conception I will always hold a special place in my heart for this woman and man that care for me and my family. So as time moves on and decisions are made I hope I can write the amazing story that will be adding a life to the Inda family.

The problem with pregnancy

Having a family is the most wonderful thing in the world. Being a mother to a beautiful two year old girl has been my greatest joy. When I talk to my partner about extending our family she looks at me with a smile on her face and says of course we can. Sounds perfect, sounds simple, sounds like we should get going. Ah but its not. Nothing brings me more joy and heartbreak all at once then thinking about getting pregnant. For a gay couple having children is well impossible. One of us is obviously missing certain key parts to make a baby. (Im not going to explain any more on that. If you dont know how babies are made my blog might be a bit much for you.) Our first daughter was created the old fashioned way and we refuse to go down that road again. So the questions begin. How are we going to do it? How will we get the much needed man juice? Will it be from a friend or a sperm bank. Who will be the carrier? The list of questions goes on and on. Literally thousands of dollars could potentially spent trying to get pregnant and each time is no guarantee. Thats why each time I think of extending our family I almost cry.

I was watching The Real L Word and a couple on the show went through a year of hell to get pregnant and then when they did they lost the baby at six months into the pregnancy. Losing a child and miscarrying a baby is horrible for anyone but I grieved for them a little more than a straight couple knowing how hard it was for them to even get pregnant. (Not saying all straight people have an easy time getting pregnant either) Do I want to go through all that work, money, and stress just to be left empty handed? How does somebody even come back from that?

As a high risk pregnancy I was a complete wreck with Penny not knowing that she would be fine. The outcome of the nine month of misery was well worth it. I have never known perfection until I saw her face for the first time. Jessie and I have so much love for her that we want to share that with another child. A struggle it will be but I keep telling myself the result will be more than worth it. So now Im off to try and answer the hundreds of questions of how and Ill get back to you when I have some answered.